Super Mario Bros. - DVD podBLAST

A perfect example of a big-budget blockbuster gone bad.

Most shocking about this steamer is that it didn't instantly sink two entire industries - movies and video games.

3000 Miles to Graceland - DVD podBLAST

The normally un-blastable Kurt Russell gets his moment in the Adudathuda Sun in this story-free, heartless, two-hour music video.

It starts stupidly (dueling robotic scorpions?!), gets a bit promising (if totally annoying), but then goes downhill. WAY downhill, baby. And just when you're thanking your lucky stars that the credits are rolling, they hit you with the worst blooper/goof reel in the history of cinema.

Is it a comedy, is it a thriller, is it a buddy movie, is it a heist film? Hey, this one sucks on all levels equally.

Bonus: be sure to listen for the latest ill-advised mid-movie snack.

The Relic - DVD podBLAST

Heyeee Blaastphemers! Season tree continues with dis claasic of American cinema... Da Relic.

An seein as how dis is a movie based in are fine city a Chicaago, yer blaasters get back to der roots by chawin down on some dags and sassages beforehaand. Oh! don worry - we dinnt start da tape till we were done.

But oh were doze dags taystee! D gat 'is sasage ahl smuddered in krote!

Oh yeaa da movie - starrin Tam Sizemore an Panelope Miller - oh man, dis movie saaacks!

Snakes on a Plane - DVD podBLAST

It's about damn time, people!

The bomb that wasn't supposed to bomb but really did because in the course of making a pseudo-bomb, they messed up and it became a real bomb even though the entire wired world thought it would be da bomb but instead it just bombed. And deservedly so.

BLASTphemers, we give you... Snakes On a Plane.